Make Up or Break Up? Here’s How to Stop the Pain of Betrayal and Disappointment, Heal the Emotional Wounds and Fall Crazy In Love Again

Watching your relationship fall apart is one of the most gut-wrenching experiences you can have in life.

It’s heart-breaking to see that a relationship that was once a source of so much joy and comfort has now become a source of pain and disappointment.

You hate to admit it, but your relationship is at the breaking point.

Your mind keeps telling you to stay and work things out, but your heart wants you to leave.

Things haven’t been good between you for quite some time.

Your fights have left deep wounds and terrible emotional scars.

Dr. Randi Gunther

Clinical psychologist and marriage counselor for over 40 years

Or maybe you’ve drifted apart and are now sharing a home without sharing a life. The sex is non-existent or perfunctory.

Perhaps you’ve been betrayed. Or have been the betrayer.

And now you can’t even talk to your partner anymore. Not without a good deal of eye-rolling or finger-pointing.

You don’t want to break up, but you can’t go on living this way the rest of your life.

You’re in distress.

Disillusioned.

Deeply hurt.

And you keep asking yourself, “Where did it all go wrong?”

and

“Can This Relationship Be Saved?”

When your love was new, there was bountiful forgiveness, acceptance and generosity. There were so many happy moments, so many great conversations, so much affection and laughter.

Sure, there were challenges and misunderstandings and sometimes even fights, but the good times were many and the bad were few.

It was easy to believe back then that things would always be that way between you.

Now, the negative feelings you once suppressed come out all too easily. Small irritations are like fingers on the chalkboard. The way they talk, the way they chew, their annoying little habits…it all gets on your nerves.

It’s as if you’ve become “allergic” to your partner.

You’ve tried everything you can think of to get things back on track, to no avail.

Is this the end?

Or is there hope that your relationship can be saved?

This is one of the most important questions you’ll ever ask yourself.

Rightly so…

The answer to that question can change the course of the rest of your life.

And you may be searching for a sign that you can still turn it around.

If you relate to any of this, here’s what I’ve come to believe from my 40+ years as a psychotherapist.

You CAN Rebuild Your Relationship and Bring Back the Magic – And It CAN Be Better Than Ever

No relationship can escape challenges or disappointment. Even people who once deeply loved each other can lose hope and confidence that they will stay together.

There comes a time in all relationships that have been neglected or traumatized by betrayal or fighting that the couple must make a decision about their future.

I want to tell you that if you’re here reading this, and you find yourself longing to get back the magic you once felt with your partner, even if that longing is fading quickly, there is hope.

This is the critical moment where you either muster up the courage to do whatever it takes to rescue your love, or you succumb to the desire to give up and let the relationship die. Go your separate ways. Start your lives over. Forge a new life, alone this time.

The mere thought of ending your relationship can put you in despair!

That’s why this moment is critical, because if you wait too long to act, you may end up in a very dangerous place for relationships, and that is a place of complete apathy and detachment .

I’ve seen it happen much too often in my sessions with couples.

One person looks out the window, unmoved, as the other one pleads for reconciliation…understanding…acknowledgement …anything.

Once you or your partner have crossed into that zone of detachment, it’s very, very difficult to resuscitate what was once a very close and loving bond.

To put it frankly, you or your partner just won’t care enough to even try to make things better or work things out. They’ll already be planning their new life without you, rather than spend another minute wondering where it all went wrong and how to fix it.

After working with thousands of couples over the course of four decades, I want to tell you that if you’re here reading this, and you find yourself longing to get back the magic you once felt with your partner, even if that longing is fading quickly, there is hope.

There is hope that your partner will long for your embrace again.

There’s hope that you will once more feel effortlessly attracted to them and vice versa.

There’s a good chance that you’ll fall back in love, urgently and completely, and revel in that love together.

But if you want any of those things to happen, you can’t wait.

You can’t wait for your partner to change or finally “see the light.”

Your relationship won’t magically get better on its own. YOU must take a heroic step toward doing what’s right for you and your partner, even if your partner is not 100% interested or even committed at this moment.

As long as there is still a trace of the desire to make things better from both partners, the effort won’t be in vain.

You won’t need to settle for a mediocre or cobbled relationship, you can create a relationship that’s even better than the one you had before things started to fall apart, no matter what you’ve tried in the past or how long you’ve been “working” at it.

I’ve seen couples on the verge of divorce start to work as a team again…
…and feel revived and excited about their future.

I’ve seen couples develop honest intimacy…
…when only months before a betrayal rocked their love and they never thought they would trust again.

I’ve witnessed partners surprised at the passion and tenderness that’s still there between them…
…even if they had drifted apart and were sleeping in separate bedrooms, convinced their romantic life together was long gone.

As long as a couple is willing to make their relationship a priority for the time it takes to heal their love, I can help pull them back from the brink.

And my plan can help you, too.

Here’s how:

The 3-Step Treatment Plan That’s My Gold Standard for Couples in Crisis

Many couples come to me in order to establish who is right, who’s wrong, and to have me help “fix” the other person.

This is entirely the wrong approach. It only wastes valuable energy.

Instead of getting mired in who is the victim and perpetrator, I lead couples through this highly effective 3 step plan:

1 Diagnose the real problem. In my experience, what a couple believes is the problem isn’t the real problem.

It’s not that your partner lied to you, or that they’re spending too much time at work. It’s not that they’re a poor listener or that you’re too demanding.

The root of all these complaints lies elsewhere, and it’s usually in how you interact with each other.

Certain behaviors consistently cause distance in couples. You must recognize these (often unconscious) behaviors and stop them immediately.

It’s only when you can diagnose the real problem that you can stop going around in circles and work on getting the love back.

2 Get motivated. In my private practice, one partner is usually a bit more motivated to fix the relationship than the other.

In extreme situations, one partner just about drags the other into therapy, and the unmotivated partner doesn’t even acknowledge there’s anything wrong with the relationship or refuses to take any responsibility.

But how do you muster up the motivation if you already feel worn out?

You must have a kind of epiphany about your relationship that you haven’t had up until now. You have to connect to that part of you that still loves your partner and will do anything to get back the good feelings and devotion you once shared.

It’s only when you can gather the force of that sort of motivation that you’ll be able to go on to the third step.

3 Commit to specific, love-boosting behaviors. Many relationships end because one or the other partner can’t let go of what the other one is doing wrong and what’s missing in the relationship.

If you want to assure that your relationship will fail, blame, score-keeping and grudges are the way to go!

Or, you can make rapid progress by focusing on a series of powerful behaviors and commitments that actually make a positive difference in how you’ll feel about each other.

Over the years I’ve identified 26 behaviors and commitments that are most effective for bringing about the greatest change in a relationship. Once you know what these are, it’s just a matter of selecting the ones most important in your relationship and implementing them.

You’ll measure your progress by how good you feel around your partner again, and how appreciative and kind they are in return.

Introducing Relationship CPR, a Program That Will Stop the Pain, Repair the Damage and Bring Back Love, Devotion and Trust to Your Relationship

I’ve made it my life’s work to help individuals and couples feel better about each other and about themselves, and be able to enjoy healthy, loving relationships.

I’ve had the pleasure of seeing hundreds of couples I’ve counseled fall back in love with each other. I’ve seen desperate, heartbroken lovers reconcile and find happiness again. I’ve seen families on the brink of destruction be made stronger and more resilient when partners put their energy into working together again.

Nothing else is more gratifying to me as a psychotherapist.

I believe a healthy, loving relationship is one of the greatest joys in life. I wanted to make my plan available to anyone who needed it.

This is why I developed the Relationship CPR program.

This program will show you how to identify the real problem behind your broken relationship by helping you evaluate which specific underlying behaviors have torn you apart, so you can stop the pain ASAP.

It will help you gain the motivation you need to heal your relationship with a special face-to-face exercise that has been known to bring couples to tears because they once again feel that magic that made them fall in love in the first place.

And finally, Relationship CPR will show you how to prioritize and enact the 26 new behaviors and commitments, so that you and your partner can resurrect your loving feelings for each other, fast.

The tools contained in Relationship CPR can help you create a relationship that’s far more loving and way more secure than what you had before.

They are specific to a relationship in peril, work quickly and are easy to follow.

This is the same treatment plan that I’ve used with couples of all ages, from all backgrounds and walks of life.

In Relationship CPR, you’ll learn the same 3-step process I’ve developed and used in my 40-year clinical practice helping couples repair their broken relationships.

You’ll get:

• 5+ hours of advice that you can listen to immediately, either online or downloaded into your MP3 player.
• A 70+ page workbook with 7 questionnaires and exercises to help you work through the powerful process with your partner, release resentment and rebuilt love.

I know that if you listen to the program with your partner, do the exercises and you are dedicated to transforming your relationship, you will experience more love, more understanding and more joy together. If you aren’t completely satisfied once you try out this program, you can return it hassle-free within the first 7 days. I’ll refund every penny, no questions asked.

• The 5 steps to healing a relationship that every couple MUST take if they are to overcome their challenges and feel happy together again.
• A 20 point evaluation quiz to help you gauge just how seriously your relationship is in trouble.
• The 3 words that will help you determine whether your relationship is going downhill or actually improving.
• The 10 most common “attack modes” when communicating with your partner and how to avoid them, so you aren’t constantly sabotaging progress toward a more loving relationship.
• The ONE WORD with which to never start your sentence when addressing your partner, especially when you’re feeling angry, frustrated or emotionally wounded, because it is inflammatory and divisive.
• Are you arguing but you can’t remember what it is you actually SAID during the argument? What this indicates about your relationship’s health.
• Why detachment and low energy around recurring issues is actually WORSE than impassioned, explosive arguments, and what to do if you feel yourself giving up on your relationship.
• 15 questions that will help you face the TRUTH about the state of your relationship, so you can begin undoing the damage and be tender with each other again.
• What happens when couples each “do the relationship in their head” and why this is one of the more persistent problems that often pulls lover apart.
• The 7 behaviors and attitudes that will cause distance in a relationship over time, and how to recognize and avoid them so you’re not dooming your relationship to failure.
• A powerful, face-to-face exercise you do with your partner that will have you feeling closer and more motivated to heal your relationship than ever before.
• A self-evaluation written exercise that measures how likely you are to bring your relationship back on track.
• 26 commitments to new behaviors that you can aspire to mastering, that can not only fix what’s ailing your relationship now, but can help you fall in love deeper than ever.
• A specific type of rejection that can be a heartbreak like no other– if your partner ever asks you for this, be sure you come through. And if you are the one asking, make sure you’re never frivolous in your request!
• What you and your partner should regularly ask each other in order to keep the relationship strong.
• What I’ve seen expressed regularly in EVERY successful relationship I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing in my private practice. If you can do this ONE THING, you’ll improve the relationship even if you did nothing else.
• And more!

What you’ll learn in each chapter

Section 1

The 5 Steps to Relationship CPR

• What I’ve observed after 40 years and over 100,000 hours helping couples is needed to repair a broken or faltering relationship.
• The 5 steps you must take right away before embarking on the journey to relationship CPR in order to give your love the best chance for healing.
• The Relationship Evaluation Test: A Series of questions you and your partner answer in order to evaluate where you’re at right now and how far you need to go in order to get back to the kind of loving, happy relationship you want.

Section 2

Identify Negative Symptoms and Behaviors

• The 10 negative symptoms and behaviors that indicate your relationship is in trouble, and how to determine how much to focus on each symptom.
• The one word you should never start any sentence with when speaking to your partner.
• Common attack modes that deteriorate a relationship and how to stop doing them and reverse the damage immediately.

Section 3

Remember the Good Things

• An exercise that will bring you back to the sweet place you and your partner used to be in as a couple, and will soften the resentment and anger you may be feeling now.
• The poisonous behaviors that cause toxic build up in any relationship and what to do about them.
• How to gauge, and what to do about unequal sexual appetites or a loss in sexual intimacy and connection.

Section 4

Gain Motivation for Change

• Why it’s hard to remember the good times and the reasons you fell in love in the first place.
• An exercise that can help you gain a better understanding of how motivated you are to make changes in your relationship, and why that’s a key to healing.

Section 5

New Behaviors and Rays of Hope

• 26 specific goals and commitments that will give you a ray of hope for your relationship and help you heal from the toxic behaviors and negative symptoms identified earlier in the program.
• What to talk about regularly with your partner in order to intensify intimacy and understanding.
• How to become aware of your own negative patterns that are damaging to your relationship.
• The 3 sabotaging behaviors you need to give up in order to stop undermining your partner’s positive efforts toward improving your relationship.
• Positive strategies in the process of communication that helps you come to a better understanding of each other.

Section 6

Keeping Your Relationship Alive and Thriving

• An evaluation process to do a month after you complete the first 5 sections with your partner in order to evaluate how much you’ve changed or remained stagnant.
• Specific advice on how to keep your relationship alive and thriving, so you don’t find yourself on the brink of a breakup in the future.
• Questions to ask yourselves monthly in order to help guide and steer where your focus should be, based on what is still weak or lacking in your relationship.

FREE BONUS: Get Two FREE Transformational Interviews!

Our gift to you: a free month of our Transformational Interview Series, where you’ll learn skills and strategies to radically improve all your relationships. You’ll meet a new expert every month, sharing powerful skills and breakthroughs on relationship topics that matter: resolving conflict, setting boundaries, increasing intimacy, practicing genuine self-love… and much, much more.

In addition to monthly eye-opening interviews, we’ve got loads of surprises and bonus content to sweeten the deal (including these three gems in your first free month!)

If you love the program, do nothing. Every month you’ll receive another empowering interview for $19.97/mo. If you don’t want to receive any more interviews or bonus surprises, simply cancel (don’t worry – it’s super easy to do). You won’t pay a thing, and you’ll keep all the free interviews and bonuses, too.

Place your order and be reading or listening to Relationship CPR in a matter of minutes. Take a full 7 days to examine the materials, try the techniques and try out what works for you or your partner. See for yourself how much these foundational skills can transform your relationship, bring you closer to your partner, and help you create the kind of heroic love you’ve always wanted.

If, at the end of the 7 days, you decide this isn’t the right solution for you, simply let me know and I’ll refund your investment in FULL, no questions, no hassle. This is my promise: You’ll find outstanding value from this program after putting it into practice for a full week or pay nothing!

If you were one of my private practice clients, the tools and advice you’d receive from me would cost you thousands of dollars in fees. I know this isn’t realistic for most couples. This is why I’m thrilled to be able to offer Relationship CPR, a digital program you can do from the comfort of your own home that offers you my very best process for bringing the love and trust back to your relationship for a fraction of the cost.

My Risk-Free Promise

It’s Immediate

You’ll be able to access the program within minutes of purchasing.

It’s Unlimited

7 full days of unlimited access before deciding to keep it.

It’s Risk-Free

Not 100% thrilled? Let me know and I’ll give you a full refund.

These Tools Will Help You Create the Kind of Quality Relationship Very Few People Ever Experience

In counseling, there’s a moment that happens between a couple when I know things are at a turning point.

After weeks or even months of surly expressions, defensive body language, nasty outbursts and even tears, something happens between the couple.

There’s laughter. A gentle touch. A long sigh of relief.

And suddenly, it’s like someone threw back the curtains and opened up a window in a room that had been shuttered for years. There’s a profound shift in the energy in the room.

Laughter, a touch, a sigh. It may seem like a small thing, but it’s a rather big victory for a couple that could barely look at each other without contempt pouring from their very being.

Once that shift happens, things can improve quickly.

Partners stop sabotaging their progress, they are kinder, they listen better and start taking responsibility. But there must be faith first. There must be faith in the process, in each other, and in your own motivation to get back the love you once shared.

Relationship CPR gives you that faith. It is the path to relationship enlightenment. If you learn and practice the skills this program teaches, you’ll not only be a better and more successful intimate partner, but you’ll make all the relationships in your life better. You’ll invest your time and energy toward creating the kind of quality relationship that very few people experience or know.

I’ve seen people in the darkest hours of relationships fall more in love than they’ve ever been.

I know it can happen for you, too. There is hope, and you can get back the love you’ve lost.

I’d love to show you how.

xoxo,
Dr. Randi