I met my husband online and got married for the first time when I was 47.
Here’s What 95% of the Women Online Don’t Know
At any given moment, there are millions of single women online looking to find love. Many of them will succeed, but many will fail or give up—and not because there’s something wrong with them.
They’ll fail because 95% of them don’t know how to use the technology to their advantage, how to create a magnetic profile or email, or most importantly—how to reject rejection. This is what my video program will help YOU do. Here’s how:
I’m sure you know someone who met their mate online, too. In fact millions have found love online. A recent study by sociologists found that some 39% of heterosexual couples that got together in the US in 2017 met online.
This is compared to 27% meeting at a bar, and 20% through friends.
Yes, times are changing, and the way we meet other singles—especially over the age of 40—are also changing.
Then there are all the millions of people who look for love online and don’t find it. Maybe you’re one of those millions.
Maybe you’ve tried online dating before, and hated it.
Or you’ve NEVER tried it, because you’ve heard the horror stories and you didn’t want any part of that.
Or maybe you tried your best to make it work for you, but you were so fed up with all the low-quality responses (or worse, NO responses), you gave up.
Maybe the guys who contacted you didn’t impress you at all. Or maybe you may have experienced spurts of luck, and went on a few first dates, but then… crickets.
The guys you liked didn’t follow up to see you again, or they disappeared, never to be heard from again. Or they told you you’re not their “type”, and you couldn’t help but wonder if that really meant you were too old, or too fat, or maybe too smart and successful?
Regardless of WHY it happens, feeling that rejection is icky…it sucks.
Even—or especially—after the age of 40!
Those are some of the reasons why you probably think you haven’t been fortunate to find your Forever Mate online, and why you’re one of the millions that have either given up on online dating, or have never even tried it.
But the biggest reason I see why some women fail to find love online can be boiled down to this…
The #1 Reason Women Fail to Find Love Online
When women first come to me for coaching, they’ve often tried online dating and failed
The #1 reason I see is that they allow the “NO’s” they hear from men online beat them down (whether literal “no’s” or just the implied “no’s” of no responses).
In other words, you either give up too soon, or don’t even try.
You decide that you don’t need to feel bad about yourself, and besides, you don’t “need” a man, anyway! Your life is just fine the way it is, thank you very much. You have your friends, your career, your home…you certainly don’t need a man to complete you or take care of you.
Okay, so maybe you don’t “need” a man. You just “want” one.
With that in mind, you review the pro’s and con’s of online dating and decide that maybe it’s not for you.
In your mind, online dating is shallow, demoralizing, and wrought with too much rejection and negativity.
But here’s the thing:
Success requires that you to stay positive and hopeful; what you perceive as online rejection can exhaust you mentally. Even if you start with a hopeful, positive attitude when you go online, it will quickly dwindle.
That’s why I’m going to give you 4 strategies—or truths—to help you move forward in online dating keeping your self-esteem intact.
The 4 Truths About Online Dating That Will Keep Your Self-Esteem Intact and Increase Your Chance for Success
If you want to avoid the mental exhaustion that is the biggest cause of giving up too soon, or being afraid to even TRY online dating in the first place, you’ll need to accept certain truths about online dating.
These truths are especially relevant for women over 40, because online dating presents special challenges for us. Unless you know how to perceive those challenges, you’ll just stay stuck in the online-dating-isn’t-for-me mindset, which will narrow your chances of meeting a good, grownup man where you live considerably.
And that’s unfortunate, because online dating is the very best chance you have at finding a good man with whom to share your life if you’re a woman over 40.
You may know this, because you’ve already tried meeting single men your age “organically” through friends, clubs or the grocery store without much luck.
So here are the 4 truths that—if you embrace them—will enable you to look at online dating in a whole new, positive light, and will therefore keep your self-esteem intact and vastly increase your chances of finding Mr. I Love You online:
1 The men on online dating sites and apps don’t know you.
The reason why rejection hurts sometimes is because you’re taking a man’s lack of interest or response personally, as if it’s a reflection of your date-ability and wort
But, what does that guy really know about you? Maybe 20 sentences, and the answers to a questionnaire and a few photos. If he doesn’t “pick” you, or don’t answer your email, take a deep breath and remember:
There are 1000 reasons a guy won’t be interested and 999 of them have nothing to do with YOU.
They want someone who looks like their ex, someone who skis, someone without kids, someone who doesn’t have kids at home, etc. These things have absolutely nothing to do with who you are or even what you look like.
The way I see it, it’s better he NOT chose you and waste your time, causing you heartache and disappointment later. And let’s be honest, there are a myriad of reasons YOU reject guys online as well. You wouldn’t expect them to take it personally and feel all crappy about it, right?
2 True rejection is not the same as online rejection.
Let’s separate true rejection from online rejection. You have a right to cry in your wine if the guy you’ve been dating for 3 months, who has truly gotten to KNOW you and you him, suddenly stops calling or breaks up with you.
That feels crappy and like rejection, for sure.
But the guy not responding to your “like” or your email or not asking you out after a couple of phone conversations…that’s just part of the process that’s going to lead you to some fun dates and eventually your Mr. I Love You.
Move on without wasting one moment or one bit of energy. You have things to do!
3 Men online over 40 can be like kids in a candy store.
A lot of women are emailing that tall 60-year-old man with a great head of hair, who looks healthy and has an active life and good career.
Imagine it like this – I asked a client about this recently: “You meet a guy in Starbucks and after a very brief chat he takes your card and he never calls. Would this bother you?” I asked. ”No”…she said. “I’d figure he probably went off to live his busy life and, since he didn’t really know me, I just kind of dropped out of his mind. That wouldn’t bother me.”
Well, imagine that he went home after Starbucks and there were 25 women waiting for him with open arms. Some even have candy for him and are wearing sexy outfits. That can be what it’s like for a guy online. The good ones with great profiles have lots of choices. They can meet a lot of women. That’s just the truth. (And that’s why you need an EDGE when it comes to using online dating to meet these types of men!)
4 Your age actually counts in your favor.
You imagine that your age is a disadvantage, but you’d be wrong. It’s actually an advantage!
One advantage to being a woman over 40 is that you have the perspective of a life well lived.
Instead of tapping into the insecure 18 year old who is biting her nails waiting for the phone to ring and wondering what’s wrong with her when it doesn’t, grab the confident, experienced woman who knows what she wants and knows how to get it. That’s you!
Mastering the art of accepting rejection gracefully will most certainly help you stay online long enough to find your true love.
This is exactly how I did it and millions of others have! Take responsibility for managing your feelings, and use this as the powerful tool it is to lead to you love.
The good news is that I can help.
How to Master the Art of Online Dating and Use This Powerful Tool to Find Your True Love
In the beginning of this article, I wrote that I was 47 when I got married for the first time, after meeting my husband Larry online.
Don’t get me wrong, finding Larry was a 7-year-long process for me.
I made all the mistakes. I spent 7 years online and barely even had a date.
7 LONG, frustrating, lonely years.
But I took responsibility for my experience and hired a therapist (there weren’t dating coaches back then) and an expert to help me figure out what I was doing wrong, and to learn the practical skills to get me noticed in a way that I hadn’t been noticed before.
That’s when I changed my approach to online dating and met Larry, and we were married within 6 months.
Since then, I’ve been teaching these same skills and strategies to my clients, both one-on-one and through seminars and workshops, and have seen them fall in love with men who adore them, desire them, and feel lucky to be sharing their lives.
These secrets and skills CAN and WILL work to help you find love online, too.
That’s why I created my video program, From Online to In-Love.
In this program, you’ll get an entirely new perspective on rejection, grownup men, and your ability to find the man who will want to love you for life.
You’ll get my 2-word mantra that helps my clients cut through and ignore the b.s. that so many women get stuck on with online dating. That way, if a man doesn’t respond to your message, or says something nasty, you don’t have to let it derail you from finding the man who’ll appreciate and want you.
You’ll learn how to look for those good, grownup men in what they say in their profiles, and how to attract them with the way you craft your online profile. You’ll effortlessly compel the right man to message you, while deflecting the men who are just a waste of your time.
I’ll reveal how grownup men are different than the men you used to date at an earlier time in your life, and what they’re looking for in a lifelong partner.
I’ll show you, step-by-step, how to write a magnetic profile that the right man won’t be able to resist. This is different than how most women write profiles—to appeal more to other women than to men. I’ll reveal how it’s different, and what you should avoid doing at all costs.
You’ll learn all about how to work the technology, so you’re not left feeling overwhelmed or not taking advantage of all the features that can get you noticed.
You’ll know more about how to confidently use online dating than 95% of the women online right now, and you’ll be pleased with the results you’ll get.
You’ll be one of the millions who meet their love online, and no longer one of the millions who give up and are still single.
I know you ache to find that one man who will love you, want you and commit to being your companion for life. I want that for you, and I can help you find him.
Let me show you how.
Love,
From Online to In-Love
A Step-By-Step Guide To Attracting A Quality Man After 40
✶ The most important skill for online dating success
✶ The truth about what “grown-up,” high quality men are looking for
✶ Connect with great men, go on better dates, and feel confident and in control
About Bobbi Palmer
Internationally-recognized dating coach, focusing on dating "like a grown up"
Bobbi helps women over 40 finally find the true love that has eluded them
