Stop Being Satisfied With An “Okay” Sex Life. Here’s Your Guide To Great Sex Every Time

by Felice Dunas

What’s the worst sex you’ve ever had?

For some, it’s a disastrous one night stand that was full of all the wrong moves, no chemistry, and no sexual compatibility.

For others, it was painful - too long, too much friction, or a partner who just didn’t fit the right way.

For many more, it was boring and she stared at the ceiling just waiting for it to be over so she could get back to watching the episode of Grey’s Anatomy he interrupted.

The worst sex you’ve ever had is probably a one-time memory.

But what happens when bad sex is an all-the-time memory?

When you feel like you’re having more bad sex than good sex?

When you just can’t seem to muster up the desire to even TRY… much less be an enthusiastically active participant?

If that’s you… you’re not alone.

In a Goop reader survey, only 37% of women responded that they felt they and their partner had great sex. That leaves 63% of women who are having “okay” sex or… not good sex.

And 59% of women have faked an orgasm, while 5-10% of women have not yet ever experienced an orgasm.

Frankly, it seems that women are having bad sex and they just don’t know it.

Because sex doesn’t have to be painful or harmful or traumatic to be bad.

Sex doesn’t even have to be BAD to be bad.

Bad sex can be:

• So boring you’re making your grocery list in your head
• A chore that you feel like you have to do
• Something to get it over with so you feel like you’ve “done your duty”
• Such a “meh” experience that you’re not interested in reliving any details because they just don’t do it for you
• Forgettable- as in, you kind of forgot that you had sex recently
• One-sided enough that you wonder if you should even be there
• Just one of those things you do because you don’t have anything better to do… so why not
• Simply… unsatisfying.

The Problem With Bad Sex: It Shapes Us

You might think that the problem with bad sex is that it’s a waste of time and that it just doesn’t add anything to your life.

But it goes deeper than that.

Because whether you’re in a relationship or not - those unsatisfying experiences stick with you.

And the more often you have meh, boring, not-so-great, forgettable, chore-like experiences…

The more your brain begins to expect that all sex is like that.

You begin to expect to remain unsatisfied and unfulfilled by your sex life.

You settle for less than you’re worth simply because your experiences haven’t shown you that different is the norm.

Good sex becomes the exception to the rule of the life you’ve settled into living.

Good sex becomes the pipe dream - the “no longer important” part of your long-term relationships.

You believe that sex in relationships is more about the connection than the satisfaction - sex in relationships is more about the intimacy than the orgasm.

But who ever said you can’t have both?

The very idea that as women we have to settle for sex that doesn’t knock our socks off and make us wish we could experience this all the time…

Is not how our lives were meant to be lived.

Our lives were meant to be lived with the knowledge that at any time, we can thrash our heads in the throes of orgasm and have the kind of sex lives that entire romance novel genres are completely and totally focused on.

We’re meant to experience pleasure so consistently and so frequently that it’s almost impossible to believe that YES we get to do this.

Sex is meant to be fun and messy and silly and yes, maybe a little clumsy. It’s meant to be hot and heavy or slow and romantic or both at the same time, as impossible as that may be.

It’s meant to get your heart racing and your pulse pounding and your sweat glands working overtime.

It’s meant to be relaxing and soothing, fulfilling and reaffirming. Loving and frantic.

But above all… it’s meant to be GOOD.

After all, that’s why the clitoris and all its 8,000 nerve endings in the head alone exist.

Because sex is meant to be good.

And expecting anything less is doing yourself a disservice… the effects of which go far, far beyond just the bed.

Bad Sex Isn’t Your Fault: And There’s An Easy Solution

But I don’t want you for one single second to believe that boring, meh, forgettable, unsatisfying sex is your fault at all.

Because of all the things the world has taught us, nobody ever taught us how to have good sex.

Nobody taught us that exploring our bodies is okay. That figuring out what feels good - and what doesn’t - is normal and natural and good.

Nobody let it be okay that women are sexual beings who want and deserve to participate in the incredibly pleasurable act that is sex.

Instead we’re called names and slurs and frowned upon if we show an inkling of interest in our own sexuality.

We’re trained that our needs and our pleasure are secondary to the act of procreation and the male orgasm.

We’re shown movies that depict good sex as looking and moving and and sounding being a certain way and if we don’t fit that narrative… then good sex isn’t in the cards for us.

So we hide it all away.

We hide our sexuality and our sex behind closed doors and hushed conversations that only happen when we have a few drinks in us.

We hide our desires behind “too busy” or “not tonight” and act as if sex isn’t something that lives at the core of who we are.

We ignore the very idea that tapping into our sexuality will unlock a confidence that rivals any physical change we can make to our bodies.

And we carry on.

But what if you didn’t have to just carry on?

What if you COULD have good - even great - sex every single time.

What if - instead of waiting for the once-in-a-blue-moon time when all the stars align and you reach your blissful peak…

If that kind of good, great, gotta-have-it, toe-curling, heart-racing best sex ever sex was normal.

How to Have Great Sex Every Time… Really!

Great sex starts with you. Not the hottest oral sex technique or the newest toy on the market.

Just you.

Understanding your body and what it’s capable of.

Learning what feels good and what doesn’t.

Letting go of all the stories the world has told you about yourself and your body and your sexuality and letting yourself explore with curiosity.

Because curiosity takes “oh, what’s that?” and lets you discover what comes next.

And if you’re so hung up on all the trash the world has thrown your way… your curiosity won’t have room to breathe and grow and thrive.

I desperately want that for you… but I know that there isn’t a place for you to learn these things without wondering how much truth it really holds.

Which is why I created one.

I’ve taken my almost 40 years of experience helping women understand their own sexual satisfaction - my life’s work traveling the world and working with thousands of women and couples - my deep understanding of behavior, the human body, and ancient principles - and distilled them into one program.

This program is the single-most important program I’ve created in my career. Because it will help women like you…

A woman with a good life. Who’s got a lot of good happening in the world. But who doesn’t know what’s missing because it’s never been shown to her.

This program is your guide to banishing bad sex and welcoming (and reveling in!) good sex.

No matter who your partner is. No matter what your history is. No matter where you live or how old you are or how long your relationship has lasted.

With this program, you’re going to finally, FINALLY, have the deep understanding of your body and what it’s capable of so you can have great sex every single time.

Because now… you’re in charge of it.

You’re not hoping for a partner who knows what he’s doing - or trying to slyly suggest a few articles here and there to the man who makes you “meh” every night.

If you take nothing else away from this letter to you, take this:

You are worth participating in your own pleasure. You are worth focusing on YOUR pleasure and putting YOUR needs onto the priority list.

And this program will help you get to that point.

In this program, I’ll show you:

• How your body remembers your past (even when you don’t) and exactly how it’s affecting your every experience now… because when you understand where obstacles come from, you’re more able to overcome them…
• The physical introduction you never had to how your body was designed- from your vulva to your vagina (and all the little places in between)… INCLUDING what the function of each part of your genitals is for and how it can help you have consistently better sex…
• A full breakdown of the health benefits of sex and how you can increase those benefits with every single sexual encounter (whether or not you have a partner)…
• How attraction is both evolutionary and determined by your life experiences so you can consciously hold your partners to a higher standard…
• The difference between your sex life and your sexuality… and how one influences the other so drastically that it’s impossible not to connect the two…
• My must-watch Thrusting Tutorial that will show you how different movements affect the nerves in your vagina… so you have almost a step-by-step tutorial to heighten your pleasure and direct your partner (or use yourself) to feel good every time…
• The process of seduction and how to become an active participant in your own seduction… which heightens the entire experience AND allows you to retain control over your sexual satisfaction…
• The science behind the orgasm so it’s no longer a magical, mystical thing but a process that you can discover and repeat, reliably, every single time… because The Elusive O is a thing of the past…
• The essential part to your sexual self-care that you might be avoiding - and how you can make sure you’re always healthy, sexually and physically…
• And much, much more.

And if you’re reading this letter thinking “she’s crazy, it’s not that bad. So my sex life isn’t anything to gossip about with my friends… it doesn’t make a difference in the grand scheme of things”…

I challenge you to consider what it would feel like the day after a toe-curling, hair-mussing, hand-on-your-mouth because you just can’t keep quiet roll in the hay.

Would you be able to wipe that smile off your face?

Would it matter if your boss tore you a new one for a project mishap?

Would it matter if your car got a flat tire or dinner burned or the kids were driving you c-r-a-z-y?

I bet it wouldn’t. Because you’d feel like a Goddess, wouldn’t you? You’d be unstoppable.

That’s the power of Good Sex.

Are you ready?

Warmly,