My Mom Had Low-Grade Depression Her Entire Life. But At The Age Of 80 She Became Happy. Here’s How:

by Marci Shimoff

When it comes to feeling happy every day, do you think it’s too late for you?

Maybe you’ve been unhappy most of your life. Maybe you’re getting along in years and you doubt that you could do anything to change your state of mind now.

Or perhaps you’ve tried to work on being a happier person in the past and have failed to feel any better.

Or you consider yourself a Negative Nancy or a Debbie Downer and think, Yeah, there’s nothing that’s going to change that. I’m hopeless. Ha!

Or maybe you’ve had a lot of reasons to be happy in your life, but there’s a psychological weight that keeps pulling you down into a funk of worry and anxiety and negativity that you don’t know how to change.

Whatever it is, you think a permanent state of contentment and ease is not possible for you.

But you’d be wrong.

How can I be so sure? Because when I discovered everything I now know about happiness, the first thing I wanted to do was help someone I loved dearly to be happier:

My mother.

If A Person Is Born Unhappy, Can They Change?

My mom had been an unhappy, glass-half-empty person her entire life. She had low-grade depression. She was tired all the time.

Don’t get me wrong—she had a big heart and was a loving mother and wife—but she suffered with an inner state of unhappiness that was like a dark cloud that followed her everywhere.

I myself was an unhappy child and young adult, which means that I probably inherited that from my mom, because my dad was a naturally happy person. He had lots of energy, found humor in everything, and loved his life.

I didn’t want to go through life feeling unhappy, so I decided to research the topic of happiness by diving deep into the field of positive psychology and by interviewing 100 “naturally happy” people (people who described themselves as very happy most of the time).

One of the most important things I learned was that we’re all born with a certain happiness set-point, or how we normally feel when there’s nothing particularly good or bad happening.

Your happiness set-point is wherever your “emotional dial” is set on the range between joy and despair on any average day.

How is our happiness set-point determined?

50% of our happiness set-point is determined by genetics.

10% is our circumstances (our state of health, wealth, relationships, career, etc.)

And 40% of our happiness set-point is determined by our habits, or the things we do on a daily basis that either raise or lower our state of happiness.

Both my mom and I had been born with a genetic predisposition for unhappiness, despite whatever circumstances we experienced throughout our life.

Our happiness set-point was low.

That means that if something good would occur, we would feel good about it for a short period of time. But within hours or days we’d be right back to feeling gloomy and in a funk. Since I learned that circumstances affected only 10% of the happiness equation, it wasn’t surprising that achieving a comfortable home, great relationships, and a bit of fame didn’t make me a happy person.

Then there was the other extraordinary fact I discovered:

You can raise your happiness set-point.

Even if it’s genetically low. Even if your circumstances are not ideal.

And you can do this by incorporating certain habits into your life.

Specifically, I determined that there are 21 habits that happy people practice on regular basis, and if you emulate them, you too, can raise your happiness set-point.

While it’s true that a person’s habits affect 40% of their happiness set-point, having happiness-promoting habits can override genetics and enable a person to be 90% happier, even if they were born with a low happiness set-point (like me and my mom)!

These habits are literally life-altering.

Once I noted these habits and began to practice them myself, I began to feel happier every day.

Now, that doesn’t mean that I embodied some Pollyanna state. I still got frustrated and angry at times, or felt sadness or grief when I experienced a loss. But my state of inner peace and wellbeing didn’t depend on external conditions or circumstances.

In the past, fame and fortune couldn’t bring me this type of joyful ease and fulfillment, but these habits did.

That’s when I decided I had to find out if anyone could feel better on a daily basis by practicing these habits.

That’s when I made my mom the first guinea pig in my experiment on happiness.

From Glum And Glass-Half-Empty To Grateful, Happy, Energized

As I mentioned, my mom had a low happiness set-point. She was sad all the time, she didn’t have a lot of motivation, and she suffered with low-grade depression her whole life.

She was in her 80s when I began to teach her the happiness habits I had learned. She was a great student, too. She would say, “Hey honey, tell me what I should do today.”

In what seemed like no time, she changed her life. How?

She started exercising, even though she never exercised in her life. She began with a walk around the block and then progressed into longer and longer walks. Eventually, she joined a senior aerobics class and became the star of that class. She loved it!

She had a gratitude practice. She changed her thought habits. She practiced the exercises that raised her serotonin level. She tried and practiced all 21 of the happiness habits.

It wasn’t long after that, every time I called her and asked how she was, she’d say, “Honey, I’m so happy. And so grateful—for you, for the day, for the sun!”

I thought, Oh my God, who is this person? It was quite amazing.

But the real pièce de résistance came when my mother was 87 and had to have an emergency surgery.

She lay in her hospital bed in recovery, with tubes coming out of everywhere. My siblings and I stood by her bedside and waited for her to wake up. Her eyes fluttered open and I bent down and whispered, “Mom, how are you?”

She opened her eyes and looked up at me with a big smile on her face around all the tubes and said, “Honey, I’m happy for no reason.”

How To Be Happier Tomorrow Even If You’ve Been Unhappy Your Entire Life

I sure wish I knew what I knew sooner, so I could have helped my mom be a happier person when she was much younger. But I’m grateful that before she passed away, she found happiness at last.

I know that these habits, practices, and principles for happiness work. They worked for me, they worked for my mom, and they’ve worked for hundreds of thousands of people all over the planet.

And I know that if you commit to learning and practicing these habits, they will work for you, too.

You’ll feel happier and have a greater sense of peace and wellbeing, even if you’ve been a chronically negative and unhappy person your entire life.

Even if you’re in your 80s, I know this will work for you, like it worked for my mom.

It’s never too late to be the positive, energetic, grateful, and happy person you have always longed to be.

That’s what my video program, 30 Days to a Happier Life, will help you become—step-by-step, day-by-day.

Each of the 30 days, you’ll learn a new happiness habit and have the opportunity to practice in real-time, with me as your guide.

These habits are simple and easy to learn. They’re powerful and life-changing. Some take only a few minutes a day to practice and some take no time at all, because you do them in the “background” of your day.

You’ll learn how to:

• rewire your brain for happiness
• naturally raise your serotonin level
• turn worry into ease
• see opportunity where you previously only saw obstacles and challenges
• feel fulfilled by your work
• have a sense of purpose in life
• feel happy, no matter what your circumstances!

Start right now, risk-free, and see for yourself how much happier you can be in a matter of days. Maybe even starting today!

There’s no reason to think that you can’t change your outlook on life. You absolutely can!

Research has shown that raising your happiness set-point is possible, and it’s possible at any age, no matter how long you’ve been a glass-half-empty kind of person.

With love and happiness,

P.S. Does worry get in the way of your happiness?

You want to feel at ease, but you’re often worried about finances, your health, or your loved ones. What can you do about that?

On Day 4 of my video program, 30 Days to a Happier Life, you’ll learn how to take advantage of a strategy your brain already utilizes in order to lessen worry instantly. Plus, you’ll learn several more habits and exercises that will put you more at ease about every worry in your life: