by Randi Gunther
There’s something you’re doing that’s actually sabotaging your dating experience.
It’s the reason why you’re so frequently disappointed, why guys don’t stick around, and why it feels like you’ll never experience that deep, sincere connection with someone again.
This mistake explains why you meet men who seem very interested in you—even talking about the future and telling you that they love you—who eventually do a 180 and say they just don’t feel it anymore.
Maybe they don’t even give you an explanation; they just vanish and leave you with more questions than answers.
It’s also the reason why you end up blindsided by people who turn out to be very different than who you thought they were.
How is it possible that you spend so much time and energy trying to find the love of your life, but nothing’s happening?
When I tell you what the “mistake” is, you’ll finally understand why. And realize that if you keep doing the same thing, you’ll keep getting the same results.
The Great Date Masquerade
If you’re like the thousands of wonderful singles I’ve had the pleasure of working with, I know a few things about you.
I know that you put a lot of care and effort into how you present yourself on a date. You have a certain “outfit” that looks flattering, and you try to be a good conversationalist. More than anything, you want to be liked.
If you’re dating online, you only put in your profile things that won’t be a potential turn-off. You won’t include an unflattering photo of you on the dance floor if your hair doesn’t look right, even though you love to dance.
But in trying to construct the perfect image that appeals to EVERYONE, you’re missing the chance to catch the attention of the ONE person who is right for you.
Instead of being a specialist, you’re a generalist. You think, “I shouldn’t be too specific about what I want, because I should leave my options open.”
But doing this means you will more likely get involved in relationships that aren’t right for you.
You’ll ignore early warning signals and refrain from asking important questions up front because you don’t want to appear too forward.
To Find Real Love, You Have To Get REAL
In trying to create your perfect image, you’re sabotaging the possibility for real connection.
Let me explain how:
You and your date meet each other hoping to make the best possible impression. You both want to be liked, you don’t want to waste your time, and you both fear rejection.
You’re both in self-protection mode—especially if you’re attracted to each other. Neither of you wants to waste time, get hurt, and have to start all over again. You’ve finally met someone who rings your bells, and you want to make it right.
When you’re attracted, the stakes are high. You want to do everything you can to get another date. And then another. And then a relationship.
Here’s what normally happens: you try to be as agreeable as possible.
You put all the “right things” in your dating profile.
You try not to turn anybody off.
If your date says something you disagree with, you might nod your head and keep your real opinions quiet. If your date wants to go somewhere you don’t, you go along.
Essentially…
You’re Presenting An Image Of Yourself That Is Not Real
If you’re presenting an image of yourself that isn’t real, you are not creating real connections, because nobody ever gets to know the real you.
And if they don’t know the real you, they can’t truly love you.
If your date is someone you’re not attracted to, you’re much more likely to not worry about what you say, because you’re not as concerned about scaring him away.
And then you may lament why the men you’re not into call you for a second date, while the men you were excited about seem to disappear after the first date.
THIS is why.
It’s because you’re more real when you think there’s much less at stake. And being real is attractive.
Something else to ponder: once you’re in a relationship for years and even decades, that person will be exposed to all the different sides of you—including all your faults and weaknesses.
In a lasting, healthy relationship, both partners will be immersed in the total package of the other.
Imagine the safety of knowing that your partner has seen the real you—the good, the bad, and the ugly—and yet they still love you and want to be with you. That kind of knowing creates true safety and security, generating even more love.
That’s why, contrary to what you may think, the things you’re nervous or insecure about are actually the keys to finding the man you’re looking for.
And why, in trying to present an image that’s appealing to everyone (generalist), you’ll end up being less attractive to the one man who could have been the perfect fit for you.
From Frustrated Single To Empowered And In Love
What if you could fearlessly show up exactly as you are—with all your unique gifts and unique imperfections?
What if, instead of dreading the dating process and wasting time in superficial connections, you could fast-track your way to the man who will excite you and who will be just as thrilled with YOU being your true self?
To have a relationship that goes the distance, you need to present the most authentic picture up front.
I’ve seen this happen time and time again while working with couples in crisis. Most often, these people were not open and honest about who they were and what they were looking for from day 1.
That’s why I created a whole program dedicated to teaching you how to break out of the “typical” (and hugely ineffective) approach to modern dating. With this new method, you’ll finally stop spinning your wheels and wasting time on dates that will never work out in the long run. The program is called Dating Rehab.
Dating Rehab is going to radically change the way you date. You’ll start attracting the love of your life by being unabashedly YOU.
It’s about dumping your script when you go on a date and creating a profile the RIGHT person will click on. Most of all, it’s about creating the kind of connection FROM THE BEGINNING that gives you the best chance of finding lasting love.
When you go through my Dating Rehab program, you’ll get the same dating method I’ve taught to the hundreds of singles I’ve worked with at my therapy office in California. You’ll learn:
- How to spot the early warning signs that a potential mate isn’t a good match for you
- The specific questions you should ask up front to establish compatibility and create chemistry
- What you should be revealing about yourself with your dates—and when
- The secrets stay-in-love couples know about dating and building intimacy
- What to do when someone you thought was interested becomes distant
The men you’re meeting are just as perplexed by today’s broken dating system, and they too aren’t presenting themselves in the most authentic light.
But when you change how you show up, you change the entire dynamic. And that’s when you change the results you’re getting.
Dating Rehab puts you in control of the dating process.
Instead of feeling like you’re at the mercy of your dates—where everything feels so haphazard and left to chance—you’ll have a RELIABLE, predictable system you can count on.
Learn MoreI’ve seen it happen time and time again with my single patients—once they start dating my way, they change EVERYTHING.
They start attracting different people—people who value them and want what they want, people who call when they say they will. Their dates have a completely different quality—with deep, meaningful conversations. Mostly, they start to actually RELAX and ENJOY the process of dating.
It’s like a domino-effect, and they no longer have to deal with all the uncertainty and angst that usually accompanies dating.
That’s why I’m so excited to be able to offer Dating Rehab to you—so that you, too, can enjoy your journey to love the way you’re meant to.
xoxo,
Dr. Randi
P.S. How you’re presenting yourself on those first few dates is crucial.
There are certain ways of interacting from that first hello that will set you up for a truly authentic relationship (or quickly identify the men who will never be able to create it with you):
Start Here